As a young kid growing up, Charles was my guy. While most of the kids in my neighborhood wanted to stick their tongues out and "be like Mike", I found myself enamored with the undersized fat guy out of Auburn. The "Round Mound of Rebound" who took the NBA by storm insisting that I shouldn't consider him a role model just because he could dunk a basketball.
Sound advice.
Charles influenced me as a youngster. Taught me the importance of being honest without fear of repercussions. Being true to yourself. Barkley, more so than anyone else in my life at the time taught me that the truth did hurt, little did I know I'd eventually come to enjoy the pain. I didn't learn these valuable life lessons from my mom or dad, or some worthless middle school teacher.
Barkley taught me that.
To be real. By any means necessary.
So when Charles Barkley transitioned from Hall Of Fame power forward on the court to NBA analyst off of it, needless to say I was happier than a baby in a barrel of titties. It was as if his imprint on the game had never left. Sure, gone were the days of watching "Sir Charles" out muscle a 6'9 power forward, grab a rebound out of mid air, dribble the ball behind his back a few times and take it "coast to coast" like some kind of god damn runaway freight train. Gone were the days of rim rattling one handed tomahawk dunks and firing up the crowd at "The Spectrum" in Philadelphia.
Now, Charles would sit in a studio in Atlanta and the dunks being thrown down were in the form of verbal hand grenades. Witty, charismatic, funny. Charles Barkley did not disappoint. Teamed with Ernie Johnson, Kenny "The Jet" Smith, and Shaquille O'Neal, they'd go on to form an Emmy Award winning chemistry on TNT.
It was must see television.
Well...
Up until these guys showed up.
Charles Barkley's Rocky Relationship With Golden State
The rise of the Golden State Warriors seems to have put Charles Barkley in a foul mood. The fun loving fat guy who'd make funny little quips that rivaled Muhammed Ali in his prime has morphed into a bitter old man who takes himself more seriously now, especially when hard lining the Golden State Warriors. So what really happened to Charles? Is it just old age?
I don't think so.
In 1994, Charles Barkley's Phoenix Suns made quick work of the Golden State Warriors in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. Easily beating the Warriors 3-0 in a series that would feature arguably the best game of Barkley's Hall Of Fame career. In game 3 of that series, Barkley would hang a "50 burger" on the Warriors, tallying 56 points and 14 rebounds in a game which at least appeared as if someone on the Warriors roster had stolen something from him!
Charles was playing pissed off. And the Warriors were paying for it.
When the series was over, Barkley wasted little time sending a stern message to the Golden State Warriors and their fans.
"They talk too much," said Barkley.
I started thinking about that '94 Warriors team with the likes of Chris Webber, Latrell Sprewell, Billy Owens, etc. and Charles was absolutely right. That team did talk a lot of shit. Lets be honest, there was a youth movement going on in Oakland and the Warriors were a brash, arrogant, up and coming squad featuring Webber, the highly touted "Fab 5" rookie out of Michigan who only months prior made his mark in the NBA by posterizing none other than Charles Barkley himself. A behind the back signature jam that would not only be replayed all over "Sportscenter" that night, but also lead Nike to make a fuckin' commercial about it.
Sprewell and Webber "Dunking on Barkley" Commercial
Even worse than the Warriors themselves, I started thinking about bay area sports fans in general. More specifically, something legendary New York Mets second baseman Wally Backman once said when asked about "hecklers" from the big apple.
Wally Backman On Hecklers
"New York wasn't that bad to me. Frisco was one of the...San Francisco, they're mean bastards. Them fans are mean. Yeah, they get on your family and shit."- Wally Backman
Now, one might ask, "What does Wally Backman singling out the San Francisco Giants fan base who frequented Candlestick Park in the 1980's have to do with the current Golden State Warriors fans?"
Well, pretty much everything. This Warriors fan base has always been "The Bay's Team".
A single representation of the bay area as a whole. A congregation of those orange and black wearing pricks from across the bay joining forces with the checkered reputation of Oakland "Raider Fan", as well as a San Francisco 49ers fan base that's been consistently beating the fuck out of each other for the past 20 years now.
The truth is, when it comes to sports fans in the bay area...
Backman was right. We are some mean bastards out here. And Barkley wasn't having any of it.
Barkley Lights Up Golden State
Analyst Or Troll?
In my opinion, a good analyst always shows a willingness to put aside his/her personal feelings with the intent of establishing objectivity, then using that objectivity to pursue credibility. A good analyst always says what he means and means what he says. There is no "devil's advocate" and there is no agenda. If what that analyst says goes against the grain of humanity and flies in the face of popular opinion, at the very least he/she will stand in there and make talking points that support their argument, at the same time acknowledging what they just said may not be popular in your book, but here's why they feel that way. Proving at the very least they're not just desperately provoking others by flinging shit against the wall in hopes of a negative reaction.
To the point where something as common as difference of opinion has a much better chance of resulting in, "Interesting, I never thought of it that way" rather than, "This conversation is over. You're a dumb ass."
Like your friends do on Facebook.
Barkley, like so many ex players turned "analysts" will get away with making outlandish statements based on them having "played the game". Unfortunately, Charles Barkley has played as many games in the past 10 years as my dead grandfather has. And just because you might understand the "X's and O's" of professional basketball better than some pencil neck dork who never played the game, that doesn't automatically qualify you as being more observant.
And it sure as hell isn't selling anyone on objectivity.
Look, constantly downplaying the significance of a historical 73-9 basketball team, led by an all world point guard who in just 7 years has totally rewritten the history books on outside shooting in the NBA, all while consistently showing up on TNT and pathetically piggy backing off some new "flavor of the month" that you hope can beat Golden State based solely on a chicken shit grudge you've been holding for over 2 decades, that might make you a halfway decent troll but a turrrible NBA analyst.
Barkley's "Expert" Analysis
"They've got a terrific team now don't get me wrong"- Charles Barkley
Wow, Charles. Enlightening. Thank you. Thank you for being so candid and educating us all who never "played the game" that a 73-9 basketball team plays a "terrific" brand of basketball. I mean, way to put yourself out on a limb there, Chuck. What's next?
Water is wet?
Friday is the day after Thursday?
And in spirit of not getting Charles Barkley wrong, I guess I should eagerly anticipate yet another round of his passive/aggressive, "I like you, but you're an asshole" brand of commentary. You know, that tired little act where Barkley preferences whatever point he's trying to make about the Warriors by being complimentary, then pathetically attempts to shit on them with some weak ass argument that's relevant to him and like, 8 other people from Cleveland.
For example, my personal favorite...
"Listen, everybody thinks I hate the Golden State Warriors...First of all, I think they've been great this year for the NBA...But what I have said...Last year during the playoffs they had a cake walk through the Finals, every team they played was hurt including the Cavaliers"
I have a quick question.
I mean, before we delve into things like, "What if my grandma was born with a sack of nuts" and or, "If a frog had wings, would he or wouldn't he slam his balls on the rocks every time he jumped in the pond?"
I'd like to know how whatever point Barkley is trying to make about last year has any relevance to what's going on right now? Because if you ask me, it sounds like Charles is still desperately trying to discredit the 2014-2015 NBA Champions. And with all due respect, the parade was over a long time ago, Charles. The ring ceremony has already taken place. The championship banner is hanging in the rafters at Oracle. Point being, you can bitch and moan all you want about what "might" have happened "if" but I'm pretty sure everyone else in that studio at TNT is talking about the 2015-2016 Golden State Warriors.
And for any NBA Hall Of Fame "analyst" to sit his fat ass in a studio and pretend that the growth and development of stars like Steph Curry (28 years old), Klay Thompson (26 years old), Draymond Green (26 years old), Harrison Barnes (23 years old), etc. plays no part in the monumental upgrade from one year to the next, let alone a head coach with not even 2 years of quality head coaching experience, is totally inexcusable. You don't constantly put emphasis on how great the San Antonio Spurs are based on cohesion and experience then turn around and act like that's not relevant to the improvement of the Golden State Warriors when statistically they've improved in pretty much every facet of the game.
To Barkley's point, though.
Yes. I think it's a damn shame when players like Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving carry around a reputation for being "questionable" when it matters most. With that said, I didn't see anyone trying to validate a game of "woulda, coulda, shoulda" when Andrew Bogut suffered a rib injury and was knocked out of the 2013-2014 NBA Playoffs leading to a Warriors first round exit against the Los Angeles Clippers.
And what if those same Los Angeles Clippers won a title that year instead of the San Antonio Spurs? Would Charles Barkley, or anyone else for that matter ask what might have happened if the Warriors didn't lose the key figure in their match up with DeAndre Jordan?
Of course not. Charles would be up on TNT blowing Chris Paul and Blake Griffin the same way he blows Kawhi Leonard, Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobli, and Tony Parker.
And speaking of DeAndre Jordan, more expert analysis from the trolling mound of rebound....
"What I have said and I maintain, when they get in a 7 game series against some good big guys, which the Clippers probably have the best two big guys in the Western Conference with Blake (Griffin) down low and DeAndre (Jordan)..."
Let me jump in here because Barkley is obviously living in a fucking fantasy world.
First off, someone tell Charles Barkley to stop romanticizing over this "big guy" bullshit that he's always preaching and turn on a Warriors game. He's clearly stuck in his own era when big guys actually made an impact. This idea that any team in today's NBA is gonna successfully play "bully ball" against this Golden State Warriors squad is nothing short of a pipe dream.
It's one thing to talk tough on television but the day Charles Barkley puts the glazed donuts down and actually watches the Golden State Warriors play rather than playing touch butt with Shaquille O'Neal in a studio, he'll notice a squad totally unfazed by opposing size advantages. Or disadvantages.
We're talking about a team that lost 9 games all season and didn't lose to the Los Angeles Clippers once! In fact, one could make an argument the Warriors have owned the Clippers for the past 2 years due in part to the fact that Steph Curry has developed into a better all around basketball player than Chris Paul.
But even more importantly than that, these Warriors just match up really well against Los Angeles.
It shouldn't be that difficult for any NBA analyst to recognize how effectively the Warriors neutralize the Clippers big men when you stick the two headed, 7 foot monster of Andrew Bogut and Festus Ezeli on Jordan and allow Draymond Green to intimidate the living shit out of Blake Griffin.
Which is exactly what he does.
Charles, on the other hand, obviously doesn't see it that way. Barkley is still under the impression that these big tough guys from Los Angeles are gonna treat the "finesse, jump shooting little guys" from Oakland the same way he thinks his overrated 76ers would. Right before these Warriors ran his no defense playing ass right off the floor. Come to think of it, outside of the 1992 Olympic "Dream Team", I don't think Charles Barkley ever played on any team that could beat these Warriors.
Not even Phoenix.
Here's a fun little stat, Chuck. The 2015-2016 Golden State Warriors are the first team in the history of the NBA to never lose to an opponent twice in the same season. Oh but, expect the Clippers to do it 4 times in a playoff series. Once the playoffs start, expect the defending NBA Champions to forget how to play a brand of basketball that led them to a 140-24 record over the past two seasons based on nothing. Well, other than trolling for attention, similar to that ugly 12 year old kid using the internet in his moms basement.
And this is what TNT pays him to do. Contradict himself...
"A lot of guys who want to throw things out there about jump shooting and they play small"
Yeah, that was you Charles.
"Lets get two things straight..."
Oh this should be good.
"They got lucky twice. Do you know they made an offer to DeAndre Jordan that the Clippers matched, that was the first thing...If the Clippers do not match that offer sheet to DeAndre Jordan they got DeAndre Jordan on that team."
Let me tell you something, you put that big lug DeAndre Jordan on this Warriors squad and they instantly become an even bigger nightmare. 73-9 probably becomes 76-6 with DeAndre. Luck? Are you kidding me? As far as I'm concerned the rest of the NBA is lucky the Clippers matched that offer sheet because there is no other center in the NBA right now who compliments the Warriors style of play more than DeAndre Jordan does.
But you know what's even more impressive than the thought of DeAndre Jordan on the Warriors?
The fact that I went back and watched the tape, it took Charles Barkley exactly 5 minutes in a conversation with three other people to go from picking the Clippers to beat the Warriors because of DeAndre Jordan, to calling the Warriors "lucky" that they didn't sign DeAndre Jordan.
Pretty fuckin' remarkable, Charles. But wait, there's more....
"Secondly, this time last year they were gonna trade Klay Thompson for Kevin Love so, don't sit here and tell me they had this master plan. They had two great decisions that they didn't make that worked out for them."
What You Just Said...
First of all, the Thompson for Love deal was on the table in the summer of 2014. A deal the Warriors front office should get more credit for not making rather than insinuating "luck" played any part in it. At this time last year the Golden State Warriors were watching Kevin Love, sitting on the Cavaliers bench nursing an injured shoulder and evading cold stares from LeBron James. At this time last year the Warriors weren't even considering that deal. Why the hell would anyone dismantle a 67-15 team by trading Klay Thompson for some chemistry killing invalid sitting on the Cavaliers bench in a suit?
I can't believe I'm even responding to this bullshit.
"If they win the championship, I will get on my knees and congratulate the Golden State Warriors but I don't believe they are gonna beat these teams."
The fact that Charles Barkley (of all people) feels the need to "get on his knees" and congratulate the Golden State Warriors for winning another NBA championship only tells me he's aware of his own trolling presence. After all, doesn't getting on your knees sound a tad bit apologetic?
Why the hell would Charles Barkley, a man who prides himself in being honest, become so insecure that he feels compelled to get on his knees? Why so dramatic? I've been proven wrong many times, no need to get on your knees. Unless of course he's aware that you're aware those feelings were never genuine.
And wasn't that the reason I admired Barkley as a kid?
Because when it came to being honest, Charles was the one teaching life lessons? I dunno, I guess it's just a little disappointing when the guy you once looked up to as "the real dude" who said all the things that everyone else was afraid to say, has become relegated to the bitter old jack ass, desperate to get a rise out of people.
Let it go, Charles. Let it go.
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