Now that the MRI on Steph Curry's right knee has revealed a Grade 1 sprain of the MCL, combined with an NBA hand grenade going off right in the middle of the Los Angeles Clippers huddle, I think it's safe to say the playoff landscape looks entirely different now than it did less than a week ago.
And I'll admit, immediately after watching Curry's knees buckle in a pool of sweat at the end of the first half on Sunday, I saw the Warriors entire season flash before my eyes. I sat there staring at the walls, dejected, let out about a half dozen "fucks" while thinking I just watched it all go straight down the crapper. 73-9. The MVP. The records. All of it. For nothing more than a blue and gold consolation ribbon. I felt the disappointment of investing an entire season into Golden State Warriors basketball, feeling like a world beater in my living room only to watch it unceremoniously collapse right in front of me.
For a split second, I felt cheated.
The worst feeling in all of sports. When you know that team (your team) was good enough to win it all, but didn't win it all based on some unfortunate circumstance, a fluke. Whether it be an injury to a key player, or some unqualified dick head officiating crew being paid under the table to bend you over the kitchen counter (go ask Sacramento).
I sat there thinking about all those whiny little pussies on social media sites like Facebook, playing online games of "well, if...", also known as "woulda, coulda, shoulda". You know that one where the sorry twat sits there at his computer with his thumb buried up his ass, contemplating whether or not a frog with wings would slam his balls on the rocks every time he jumped in the pond.
Yeah, that one. A miserable existence (makes me want to shower just thinking about it).
And then it happened.
A slight glimmer of hope. Something to hold onto. Next man up.
The Golden State Warriors came out in the second half, and without Curry, laid a pace on the Houston Rockets that quite honestly, I hadn't seen from this team since late February/ early March. All stars like Draymond Green and Klay Thompson started playing basketball like someone shoved a hot poker up their ass. Now, for Green maybe that's not hard to do, but for Klay, it's important to mention because Klay Thompson has always been a guy who, when engaged, can be a downright scary player (go ask Sacramento).
Now I know what some of you are thinking, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy there, homer. They played the #8 seed Houston Rockets. Not exactly the most enthusiastic group of players ever assembled." And to be fair, the Rockets did seem disinterested. At the same time, can you blame them? The Warriors didn't just beat Houston minus the 2 time MVP, they ran them right off the floor!
Think about that. That's some demoralizing shit right there.
You got James Harden, a one man wrecking crew who doesn't play a lick of defense, expecting talented players like Trevor Ariza, Dwight Howard, Josh Smith, Corey Brewer, etc. to follow his lead. I mean how the hell do you not play inspired basketball after being down 2 games to 1, the opposing team's best player goes downin a heap, you're coming off a thrilling game 3 victory and not only that, you got some big 7 foot power forward out there lookin' like Maximus from "Gladiator".
Houston Rockets 7 foot Gladiator.
No. Quite frankly I'm not.
Running out some "every man for himself" brand of basketball versus the defending champions who epitomize an "all for one, one for all" team style of play. The hell did you think was gonna happen? To the point where a cagey vet like Jason Terry can guarantee all the victories he wants, when guys don't trust each other on the basketball court, those guarantees mean as much asme guaranteeing I could bat lead off and start in center field for the Oakland A's tomorrow night.
What the Warriors have that the Rockets don't have are character guys like Shawn Livingston, Andre Igoudala, Leandro Barbosa, etc. Experienced vets with a quiet confidence, players whose entire existence in the NBA is built around anticipating their next, "next man up" opportunity. Guys who meet adversity not by fading into the shadows but rising up out of them.
Could the '95-'96 Chicago Bulls overcome the loss of Michael Jordan? If only for a few weeks? Did the '95-'96 Bulls have anyone like Draymond Green? A captain jack, the guy who could walk up to an emotional Michael Jordan, and without even knowing the extent of his knee injury put his hand on MJ's back and say something like, "Hold your head up. It'll be alright. Get the fuck out of here. We got you." And actually mean it?
Scottie Pippen? The guy who once quit on his teammates and threw a preschool level temper tantrum because
Phil Jackson didn't draw him up the game winning shot at the end of a
playoff game against the Knicks? You mean that Scottie Pippen?
What about Ron Harper? No disrespect to Ron Harper but that guy never took over an entire game in his life.
Anyone?
Dennis Rodman?
Is Rodman gonna walk in the Bulls locker room at halftime, get in a player's face simply because he believes in him? Maybe move some furniture and challenge that one guy in the corner who appears concerned, challenge him to rise up and play like a man?
Because lets be honest, as great as Rodman was, I'm not sure he ever earned that kind of trust among his teammates. After all, what more could he do besides rebound? Give max effort? Carve some shit in his hair? Rodman was a born leader? This is a guy who played every single basketball game on the brink of self destruction. A ticking time bomb, a single frustration away from blowing a fuse and kicking a cameraman in the balls, or head butting an official and getting suspended for 2 games. Don't get me wrong I loved Dennis Rodman's passion but his brand of quality leadership is becoming "besties" with the President of North Korea, for Christ's sake.
Bottom line. I don't know if the '95-'96 Bulls had that, "Next man up."
28 years old. Gone. Just like that. On the surface this fight didn't appear to be anywhere near as brutal as the average UFC match. Certainly wasn't the MMA version of Arturo "Thunder" Gatti Vs. Irish Mickey Ward. And if it didn't look like much, that's because it really doesn't take much.
Look, this isn't gonna be a piece where I talk about the dangers of mixed martial arts considering every single one of these athletes is trained in the art of self defense. No athlete in any sport is more prepared to defend themselves than these guys are. I'm not gonna get up on my soap box and start calling for the sport to be banned by labeling it "human cock fighting" or anything like that. I'll leave that for the hypersensitive whiner crowd. I'm writing this right now because I want people to watch the fight posted above and think about what I'm about to tell you.
All you wannabe tough guys out there, I'm talking to you. The next time you're at the bar, acting like a neanderthal and trying to impress your ugly girlfriend by beating the shit out of that one guy (who probably deserved it), the mouthy prick who had way too much to drink and all of sudden thinks he's Mighty Joe Young...
Think about Joao Carvalho. This guy was a professional fighter, trained in the art of self defense, lost his life after taking what appeared to be a few seemingly harmless shots to the melon.
Walk away, man. Walk. Away.
I know it feels good to be out on the street with your boys, the world beater that you are, and caving some dudes face in probably sends a real charge up your ass, doesn't it? Validates your "street cred". Makes you feel like a man again. I bet all your buddies go home and have a big circle jerk about how they wouldn't mess with you. A tough guy. With your tough chain.
I get that. I'd ask you one question right now if I didn't already have the answer, but I'll ask it anyway.
"Was it worth it?"
When you're tuning that guy up, sure, you might feel an overwhelming sense of control. Kicking his ass the way you are. But I'll guarantee you right now there's one thing you have no control over and that's just how extensive a brain injury can be. Everything that led up to your chicken shit little sparring session cannot prepare you for that.
Think about it. While you're pounding on your chest with "Jane" standing nearby, and she's thinking how proud she is that she's finally found a real man who can protect her, ready to hand you a banana, think about how you're only one good clean shot away from tagging that drunk asshole on the buzzer, him falling backwards and hitting his head on the concrete. And guess what, hero? You aren't winning any championship belts for that. You aren't winning a UFC contract. You aren't winning but a god damn thing outside of a manslaughter charge.
Congratulations, dip shit. See you in 4-7 years. Don't drop the soap.
And again, it doesn't take much. It really doesn't. Watch the video, tough guy. Watch the video and tell me Joao Carvalho was taking such a brutal beating that the referee should have stopped that fight long before it was over.
You can't.
Yet you're out there every Friday night, one side ways look away from risking it all because you think you're bullet proof when in reality, you're just a big buff hairy dick head with a brain the size of a peanut. Lets stop kidding ourselves, Nate Diaz. You'll never "read the room" or even consider the end result for a trained professional like Joao Carvalho, because at the end of the day, machismo is way more important to you than using your brain ever was. Sure, when it's all over you still may be the toughest dude on the block, but until you learn to walk away, you'll always be dumber than a fuckin' rock.
When you make the choice of turning the other cheek and diffusing the situation by walking away, maybe that drunk guy who was about to get his ass kicked will view you as a coward, he might even call you a "pussy" out loud and then Jane won't want to fuck you anymore, but I'll tell you this right now, I'd rather be an intelligent pussy than a dumb convict.
Think about it, tough guy. And stay off the internet.
Don't get me wrong now I used to be a huge fan of Charles Barkley.
As
a young kid growing up, Charles was my guy. While most of the kids in my neighborhood wanted to stick their tongues out and "be like Mike", I found myself enamored with the
undersized fat guy out of Auburn. The "Round Mound of Rebound" who took the NBA by storm insisting that I shouldn't consider him a role model just because he could dunk a basketball.
Sound advice.
Charles influenced me as a youngster. Taught
me the importance of being honest without fear of repercussions. Being true to yourself. Barkley, more so than anyone else in my life at the time taught me that the truth did hurt, little did I know I'd eventually come to enjoy the pain. I didn't learn these valuable life lessons from my mom or dad, or some worthless middle school teacher.
Barkley taught me that.
To be real. By any means necessary.
So
when Charles Barkley transitioned from Hall Of Fame power forward on the court
to NBA analyst off of it, needless to say I was happier than a baby in a barrel of titties. It was as if his imprint on the game had never
left. Sure, gone were the days of watching "Sir Charles" out muscle a 6'9
power forward, grab a rebound out of mid air, dribble the ball behind his back a few times and take it "coast to
coast" like some kind of god damn runaway freight train. Gone were the days of rim rattling
one handed tomahawk dunks and firing up the crowd at "The Spectrum" in
Philadelphia.
Now, Charles
would sit in a studio in Atlanta and the dunks being thrown down were in the form of verbal hand grenades. Witty, charismatic, funny. Charles Barkley did not disappoint. Teamed with Ernie Johnson, Kenny "The Jet" Smith, and Shaquille O'Neal, they'd go on to form an Emmy Award winning chemistry on TNT.
It was must see television.
Well...
Up until these guys showed up.
Charles Barkley's Rocky Relationship With Golden State
The rise of the Golden State Warriors seems to have put Charles Barkley in a foul mood. The fun loving fat guy who'd make funny little quips that rivaled Muhammed Ali in his prime has morphed into a bitter old man who takes himself more seriously now, especially when hard lining the Golden State Warriors. So what really happened to Charles? Is it just old age?
I don't think so.
In 1994, Charles Barkley's Phoenix Suns made quick work of the Golden State Warriors in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. Easily beating the Warriors 3-0 in a
series that would feature arguably the best game of Barkley's Hall Of Fame career. In
game 3 of that series, Barkley would hang a "50 burger" on the Warriors, tallying 56
points and 14 rebounds in a game which at least appeared as if someone on the
Warriors roster had stolen something from him!
Charles was playing pissed off. And the Warriors were paying for it.
When the series was over, Barkley wasted little time sending a stern message to the Golden State Warriors and
their fans.
"They talk too much," said Barkley.
I started thinking about that '94
Warriors team with the likes of Chris Webber, Latrell Sprewell, Billy Owens, etc. and Charles was absolutely right.That team did talk a lot of shit. Lets be honest, there was a youth movement going on in Oakland and the Warriors were a brash, arrogant, up and coming squad featuring Webber, the highly touted "Fab 5" rookie out of Michigan who only months prior made his mark in the NBA by posterizing none other than Charles Barkley himself. A behind the back signature jam that would not only be replayed all over "Sportscenter" that night, but also lead Nike to make a fuckin' commercial about it.
Even worse than the Warriors themselves, I
started thinking about bay area sports fans in general. More
specifically, something legendary New York Mets second baseman Wally Backman once
said when asked about "hecklers" from the big apple. Wally Backman On Hecklers
"New York wasn't that bad to me. Frisco was one of the...San Francisco, they're mean bastards. Them fans are mean. Yeah, they get on your family and shit."- Wally Backman
Now, one might ask, "What does Wally Backman singling out the San Francisco Giants fan base who frequented Candlestick Park in the 1980's have to do with the current Golden State Warriors fans?"
Well, pretty much everything. This Warriors fan base has always been "The Bay's Team".
A single representation of the bay area as a whole. A congregation of those orange and black wearing pricks from across the bay joining forces with the checkered reputation of Oakland "Raider Fan", as well as a San Francisco 49ers fan base that's been consistently beating the fuck out of each other for the past 20 years now.
The truth is, when it comes to sports fans in the bay area...
Backman was right. We are some mean bastards out here. And Barkley wasn't having any of it.
In my opinion, a good analyst always shows a willingness to put aside
his/her personal feelings with the intent of establishing objectivity, then using that objectivity to pursue credibility. A good
analyst always says what he means and means what he says. There is no "devil's advocate" and there is no agenda. If what that analyst says goes against the grain of humanity and flies in the face of
popular opinion, at the very least he/she will stand in there and make talking points that support their argument, at the same time acknowledging what they just said may not be popular in your book, but here's why they feel that way. Proving at the very least they're not just desperately provoking others by flinging shit against the wall in hopes of a negative reaction.
To the point where something as common as difference of opinion has a much better chance of resulting in, "Interesting, I never thought of it that way" rather than, "This conversation is over. You're a dumb ass."
Like your friends do on Facebook.
Barkley,
like so many ex players turned "analysts" will get away with making outlandish statements based on them having "played the game". Unfortunately, Charles Barkley has played as many games in the past 10
years as my dead grandfather has. And just because you might understand
the "X's and O's" of professional basketball better than some pencil
neck dork who never played the game, that
doesn't automatically qualify you as being more observant.
And it sure
as hell isn't selling anyone on objectivity.
Look, constantly
downplaying the significance of a historical 73-9 basketball team, led by
an all world point guard who in just 7 years has totally rewritten the history
books on outside shooting in the NBA, all while consistently
showing up on TNT and pathetically piggy backing off some new "flavor of the month" that you hope
can beat Golden State based solely on a chicken shit grudge you've been holding for over 2 decades, that might make you a halfway decent troll but a turrrible NBA analyst.
Barkley's "Expert" Analysis "They've got a terrific team now don't get me wrong"- Charles Barkley Wow, Charles. Enlightening. Thank you. Thank you for being so candid and educating us all who never "played the game" that a 73-9 basketball team plays a "terrific" brand of basketball. I mean, way to put yourself out on a limb there, Chuck. What's next?
Water is wet?
Friday is the day after Thursday? And in spirit of not getting Charles Barkley wrong, I guess I should eagerly anticipate yet another round of his passive/aggressive, "I like you, but you're an asshole" brand of commentary. You know, that tired little act where Barkley preferences whatever point he's trying to make about the Warriors by being complimentary, then pathetically attempts to shit on them with some weak ass argument that's relevant to him and like, 8 other people from Cleveland. For example, my personal favorite...
"Listen, everybody thinks I hate the Golden State Warriors...First of all, I think they've been great this year for the NBA...But what I have said...Last year during the playoffs they had a cake walk through the Finals, every team they played was hurt including the Cavaliers"
I have a quick question.
I mean, before we delve into things like, "What if my grandma was born with a sack of nuts" and or, "If a frog had wings, would he or wouldn't he slam his balls on the rocks every time he jumped in the pond?"
I'd like to know how whatever point Barkley is trying to make about last year has any relevance to what's going on right now? Because if you ask me, it sounds like Charles is still desperately trying to discredit the 2014-2015 NBA Champions. And with all due respect, the parade was over a long time ago, Charles. The ring ceremony has already taken place. The championship banner is hanging in the rafters at Oracle. Point being, you can bitch and moan all you want about what "might" have happened "if" but I'm pretty sure everyone else in that studio at TNT is talking about the 2015-2016 Golden State Warriors.
And for any NBA Hall Of
Fame "analyst" to sit his fat ass in a studio and pretend that the growth and development of stars like Steph Curry (28
years old), Klay Thompson (26 years old), Draymond Green (26 years old), Harrison Barnes (23 years old), etc. plays no part in the monumental upgrade from one year to the next, let alone a head coach with not even 2 years of quality head coaching experience, is totally inexcusable. You don't constantly put emphasis on how great the San Antonio Spurs are based on cohesion and experience then turn around and act like that's not relevant to the improvement of the Golden State Warriors when statistically they've improved in pretty much every facet of the game.
To Barkley's point, though.
Yes. I think it's a damn shame when players like Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving carry around a reputation for being "questionable" when it matters most. With that said, I didn't see anyone trying to validate a game of"woulda, coulda, shoulda"when Andrew Bogut suffered a rib injury and was knocked out of the 2013-2014 NBA Playoffs leading to a Warriors first round exit against the Los Angeles Clippers.
And what if those same Los Angeles Clippers won a title that year instead of the San Antonio Spurs? Would Charles Barkley, or anyone else for that matter ask what might have happened if the Warriors didn't lose the key figure in their match up with DeAndre Jordan?
Of course not. Charles would be up on TNT blowing Chris Paul and Blake Griffin the same way he blowsKawhi Leonard, Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobli, and Tony Parker.
And speaking of DeAndre Jordan, more expert analysis from the trolling mound of rebound....
"What I have said and I maintain, when they get in a 7 game series against some good big guys, which the Clippers probably have the best two big guys in the Western Conference with Blake (Griffin) down low and DeAndre (Jordan)..."
Let me jump in here because Barkley is obviously living in a fucking fantasy world.
First off, someone tell Charles Barkley to stop romanticizing over this "big guy" bullshit that he's always preaching and turn on a Warriors game. He's clearly stuck in his own era when big guys actually made an impact. This idea that any team in today's NBA is gonna successfully play "bully ball" against this Golden State Warriors squad is nothing short of a pipe dream.
It's one thing to talk tough on television but the day Charles Barkley puts the glazed donuts down and actually watches the Golden State Warriors play rather than playing touch butt with Shaquille O'Neal in a studio, he'll notice a squad totally unfazed by opposing size advantages. Or disadvantages.
We're talking about a team that lost 9 games all season and didn't lose to the Los Angeles Clippers once! In fact, one could make an argument the Warriors have owned the Clippers for the past 2 years due in part to the fact that Steph Curry has developed into a better all around basketball player than Chris Paul.
But even more importantly than that, these Warriors just match up really well against Los Angeles.
It shouldn't be that difficult for any NBA analyst to recognize how effectively the Warriors neutralize the Clippers big men when you stick the two headed, 7 foot monster of Andrew Bogut and Festus Ezeli on Jordan and allow Draymond Green to intimidate the living shit out of Blake Griffin.
Which is exactly what he does.
Charles, on the other hand, obviously doesn't see it that way. Barkley is still under the impression that these big tough guys from Los Angeles are gonna treat the "finesse, jump shooting little guys" from Oakland the same way he thinks his overrated 76ers would. Right before these Warriors ran his no defense playing ass right off the floor. Come to think of it, outside of the 1992 Olympic "Dream Team", I don't think Charles Barkley ever played on any team that could beat these Warriors.
Not even Phoenix.
Here's a fun little stat, Chuck. The 2015-2016 Golden State Warriors are the first team in the history of the NBA to never lose to an opponent twice in the same season. Oh but, expect the Clippers to do it 4 times in a playoff series. Once the playoffs start, expect the defending NBA Champions to forget how to play a brand of basketball that led them to a 140-24 record over the past two seasons based on nothing. Well, other than trolling for attention, similar to that ugly 12 year old kid using the internet in his moms basement.
And this is what TNT pays him to do. Contradict himself...
"A lot of guys who want to throw things out there about jump shooting and they play small"
Yeah, that was you Charles.
"Lets get two things straight..."
Oh this should be good. "They got lucky twice. Do you know they made an offer to DeAndre Jordan that the Clippers matched, that was the first thing...If the Clippers do not match that offer sheet to DeAndre Jordan they got DeAndre Jordan on that team."
Let me tell you something, you put that big lug DeAndre Jordan on this Warriors squad and they instantly become an even bigger nightmare. 73-9 probably becomes 76-6 with DeAndre. Luck? Are you kidding me? As far as I'm concerned the rest of the NBA is lucky the Clippers matched that offer sheet because there is no other center in the NBA right now who compliments the Warriors style of play more than DeAndre Jordan does.
But you know what's even more impressive than the thought of DeAndre Jordan on the Warriors?
The fact that I went back and watched the tape, it took Charles Barkley exactly 5 minutes in a conversation with three other people to go from picking the Clippers to beat the Warriors because of DeAndre Jordan, to calling the Warriors "lucky" that they didn't sign DeAndre Jordan.
Pretty fuckin' remarkable, Charles. But wait, there's more....
"Secondly, this time last year they were gonna trade Klay Thompson for Kevin Love so, don't sit here and tell me they had this master plan. They had two great decisions that they didn't make that worked out for them." What You Just Said...
First of all, the Thompson for Love deal was on the table in the summer of 2014. A deal the Warriors front office should get more credit for not making rather than insinuating "luck" played any part in it. At this time last year the Golden State Warriors were watching Kevin Love, sitting on the Cavaliers bench nursing an injured shoulder and evading cold stares from LeBron James. At this time last year the Warriors weren't even considering that deal. Why the hell would anyone dismantle a 67-15 team by trading Klay Thompson for some chemistry killing invalid sitting on the Cavaliers bench in a suit?
I can't believe I'm even responding to this bullshit.
"If they win the championship, I will get on my knees and congratulate the Golden State Warriors but I don't believe they are gonna beat these teams."
The fact that Charles Barkley (of all people) feels the need to "get on his knees" and congratulate the Golden State Warriors for winning another NBA championship
only tells me he's aware of his own trolling presence. After all,
doesn't getting on your knees sound a tad bit apologetic?
Why the hell would Charles Barkley, a man who prides himself in being honest, become so insecure that he feels compelled to get on his knees? Why so dramatic? I've been proven wrong many times, no need to get on your knees. Unless of course he's aware that you're aware those feelings were never genuine.
And wasn't that the reason I admired Barkley as a kid?
Because when it came to being honest, Charles was the one teaching life lessons? I dunno, I guess it's just a little disappointing when the guy you once looked up to as "the real dude" who said all the things that everyone else was afraid to say, has become relegated to the bitter old jack ass, desperate to get a rise out of people.
